In the Hospital.

Yesterday, I was getting ready to climb on the elliptical to do my 70 minutes of riding, but I had been feeling pain under my rib since the day before and it felt like it was getting worse. It was a painful throb and sometimes stabbing. And it hurt to touch. Plus, I felt so tired and weak, but then again, I do get up at 5:30.
So I called Scott and he made me call an ambulance because I don't know why. They brought me to Centralia Providence and they ran some tests. Results were very interesting. One, I have a small case of pancreatitis. Two, for as little as I eat (and sometimes not at all) and as much as I exercise, my labs were fine. For anorexics, you're typically low on potassium and I think magnesium. I was one point low on potassium and sodium. I asked the doctor if the pancreatitis was related to anorexia and he said no. After some googling and book research from my therapist, she says yes. They also brought in a dietician for me to see this morning and she said yes. I googled it too and many sources say yes. I don't know what to think, but when we were trying to get the doctor to help us with a referral to go the Emily Program, he asked if we wanted to diagnose the anorexia with a stomach scope. I thought he was joking. I told him, anorexia doesn't give results in physical tests, but the diagnosis is through mental health. He replies with, "Yeah, yeah, I knew that." Dumbass. It took calling my therapist and  having her slowly explain things to him to get the picture. Doctors are fixers of broken bodies. They know shit when it comes to mental health and the way the mind thinks. They aren't trained to fix that. So I guess I can't blame the poor guy; he was just trying to help.
I wasn't looking forward to the dietician and told the doctor I didn't need to see one. I didn't want someone coming in, explaining the food pyramid to me and lecturing me that I need to eat more. Well, he sent her anyways. Her name is Missy and she did everything but lecture me and break out the food groups. She just talked to me that were I'm at in this stage of anorexia is normal, but to continue will have it's consequences.
**Side note** The doc just came in and told me that in this hospital there have been 14 cases of pancreatitis that were a result of anorexia. So that answers that. He said that at this point I am not severe enough to be considered as a candidate for in patient care. He said I would not be accepted, so the only option I have is the Emily Program. And so far, our insurance is denying it, so we are getting our Congressman involved (they have a special person that deals with healthcare provider's who aren't providing the healthcare) AND we talked to the Emily Program again and found out that there are other Tricare beneficiaries having the same issues so a lawsuit has been opened and we are now on that list of suing Tricare. We'll see what happens. Scott is on some sort of war path. I think he loves me.
Back on Missy. She was very passionate about encouraging me to do the program. I told her I was willing to do it for my family because they are concerned. She said until I want to do it for me, it's gonna be a struggle. I am hoping that by going to the program and seeing and hearing other cases, it will click in my mind that it's for me to change me and I have to do it because I want to help not just those I love, but I want to help me. I really liked Missy. She was encouraging and not judging.
Overall, my perception is that my anorexia is not that bad and at this point there are no real concerns. My bmi is in normal range, my labs are good, and I'm not in a worst case scenario. I am capable of getting up in the morning, taking care of daily life, and living on 500 calories a day and exercising for 70 minutes a day isn't gonna kill me. So what's the big problem?